i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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