Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
