we have officially lost it.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
are you so shy because you have an std?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
