dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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