I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
