My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
