I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
