Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
