yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize