Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
