you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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