There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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