All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
