She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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