Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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