We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
