Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
