Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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