if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You ruined the universe
Randomize
