OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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