So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
