You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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