I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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