my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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