last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
