I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
