so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
