I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
