Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..

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(631): View more from New York

what you doin?

(516): View more from New York

I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?

(631): View more from New York

reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense

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(229): View more from Georgia

Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable

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(813): View more from Florida

Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”

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(651): View more from Minnesota

oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol

(651): View more from Minnesota

Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?

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