I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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