My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
