i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
