well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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