so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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