Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
