she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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