Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
