Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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