just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
