i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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