I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
