i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
