youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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