It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
