Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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