is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
