Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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