the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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