I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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