fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
as a side note pls kill me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
