I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize