I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
