I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
