in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Are we still banned from the library?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
