For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
