he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
